Category: Point Of View

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m BEAUTIFUL!
By Shereese Slate

How often have you heard another woman say something unkind about a beautiful woman that she sees and doesn’t even know? I have heard women say such things as, “she thinks she’s cute, or she’s overrated, or even she’s ok but she’s no Beyonce. I say to people who have thoughts like this, “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful!

Aren’t we supposed to love our neighbor and build them up not tear them down? When you see a beautiful woman walking down the street, compliment her instead of spewing nasty remarks of jealousy and ill will. Negative thoughts and perceptions about other women that a person doesn’t even know says alot about the person thinking the thoughts. It really screams INSECURITY!

It often surprises me that women can be so mean towards another woman just because she is beautiful. Take some of that “hater” mentality and use it for good. The more beautiful you see yourself, the less intimidated you should be of another beautiful woman.

How about rethinking and using positive thoughts like, “she’s really pretty, or I love her hair she has so much body and bounce. Maybe I’ll ask her what salon and hairstylist that she visits.” A compliment say more about the person that is giving it than receiving it. Life is a big boomerang, the more compliments you give away the more compliments you’ll see directed back to you. When you here a person constantly have negative thoughts of them self, they are really crying out for positive attention for them self. They desire to look and feel beautiful but instead of getting the emotional help that they need to feel secure about themselves, they find it easier to take potshots at someone who does exude what they desire to have— confidence.

Here are a few suggestions that you can give to someone who you see spewing hater-a-tion towards another woman.
1. As she begins to say negative things of another woman, stop her in her tracks, not by putting her down but by giving her a compliment. It’s very hard to keep saying negative things about someone when you are the receiver of compliments.
2. When she unloads her negative thoughts of another woman, do the opposite, find a reason to give the other person a compliment, again, positive talk drowns out negative words.
3. Listen intently to the negative woman to find out what her real insecurity is all about and in a kind but indirect way off some suggestions of things that she can do to make her feel comfortable enough with herself to like and love on herself.
4. Speak highly of yourself. Birds of a feather flock together.
5. Tell them stories of how you were able to build yourself up and things you overcame that helped you to like and even love yourself.
6. Start her morning off by sending words of encouragement to her on a daily basis. The morning time is the most important time of setting the pace for how you will respond to many situations. Make her your personal project to help her get the hater out of her.
7. If you know she is negative beat her to the punch and speak positive of another. It will make her uncomfortable about being Debbie downer.

Speaking to someone’s insecurities helps them to be better in every area of their life. They no longer have that long drawn out look that speaks before they open their mouth. Now, they exude a new found beauty that only comes from getting to know and like yourself. Yes, feeling beauty on the inside helps to show the beauty on the outside. One must learn to have good positive self-talk. As the old saying goes, you are who you believe you are. If someone can’t appreciate your beauty it’s not your responsibility to succumb to their vision of you. With a great big smile, let your invoice speak loud and clear, don’t hate me because I have learned to appreciate who I am.

Despite who society deems is beautiful, you are beautiful in the creation that God made you. Yes, you are beautiful in the size, shape, and shade of color that God made you. It is ok to enhance who you are by getting a great hairstyle, or a manicure, or even a makeover. Just don’t hate the woman in the mirror. If you do, you will have a problem seeing another woman the way God sees them!

As Valentine Day approaches, beauty and relationships start to stare you right in the face. I often wondered am I really pretty? Am I really deserving of a great relationship? Do I have the right stuff to be considered pretty? Am I worth being treated as a queen? As I examined myself and gave these questions great thought, I said to myself. “Yes” to all. How can I be a daughter to a King, filled with all the right stuff and not be deserving of wearing the title, “pretty woman.”
Again I say, “I am a pretty woman”, not based off one’s perspective of me but of the perspective that I have learned to see in myself. Growing up with low self esteem will cause you to view yourself as everything but pretty. You see, I no longer look into the mirror wishing to look like or be like, anyone else. I now know that the queen, yes I said queen that stares back at me, deserves not only a great relationship but the best of everything. Including the right to see herself as worthy enough to wear the crown.
Pretty is never defined by the outer appearance alone. One must possess inner qualities that far exceed the beauty on the outside. As I size myself up, I no longer look to see what’s wrong with me, but I now marvel at what is right with me. With great discovery, I have learned that I am overall a kind person, I love to see others happy, I enjoy being a walking light, I often think of how I can put a smile on someone else’s face, and I have also learned how to put one on my very own. You see, a queen knows her worth and it has never been defined by the dollars in her purse but by the character she posses. There is no doubt in my mind that a queen deserves someone who can see the reflection of all of her prettiness. I think we would call him a king. One with a vision of what pretty really looks like, from the inside out. So I say to you, never doubt your pretty— you are pretty enough!

P.S. If you don’t have a sweetheart for Valentines Day, treat your pretty self and love on you!

By Shereese Slate